"Turn off the camera."

I look at the beautician. "Chop it all off."

My brother did a little jig-slash-breakdance in the aisle. One month until Christmas and he was already almost peeing himself in excitement....

Disco Candle Progress

"You know, they invented a word for guys like him." -The Book of Matches

All of the lights went out.

"You're late." "I swear, I have a good excuse!" "You'd better. You've got three seconds to explain....

The network of pipes shuddered over our heads. "Jillian, I don't think I can go any farther."

"...Then she swung upside down from a glass chandelier, I couldn't have liked it more." - from I' ve Been to a Marvellous ...

I look at him. "Look. We have to end this. We're over." "Why?" he asks, pouting. I check my watch. "Um, in ...

My father claimed I was bad luck. Said the single mole on the back of each hand was a sign. Called me Snake Eyes.

Source: Flickr /artcphoto

I stared at the cat. "Did you just talk?" It stared back. "No."