Monday, January 25, 2010

Monday Muse

"Have I got a deal for you!"


  1. "Have I got a deal for you!"

    "Really Dad? You think some lame salesman imitation is going to make this any better? We're in the middle of a national forest, freezing to death. The cell phones have no coverage and they're dead anyway. You just ate the last pack of crackers, without offering any to me, and I'm pretty sure we've passed this leaning oak four times."

    "Now you just wait until you hear what I'm offering here, son. I'll give you this tasty, tasty acorn for your jacket, so think that over before you decide. We'll be back to the truck in no time."

  2. "Have I got a deal for you!"

    Kathy twirled around with one arm holding the canvas bag of groceries and the other hand fumbling through her purse trying to find the Prius's key fob. She'd parked on the outskirts of the parking lot as usual -- Kathy didn't understand why someone would waste time trying to get a close parking spot -- and hadn't noticed anybody near her car. Yet, a man wearing a blue-striped suit stood in front of a small round car with lots of curves.

    "Umm... I didn't see you," said Kathy.

    "I can see you care about the environment."

    "Yeah." Didn't everyone care about the environment. "I've got to go, there's company coming for dinner."

    "But you'll miss the opportunity of a lifetime." The salesman slapped the hood of the car and it snarled like a treed cat. "You're driving last year's Prius. They may have been a technical marvel last year, but they're nothing next to this beauty."


    "Zero emissions and she doesn't require a drop of fuel. There will never be a better car for the environment."

    How was that possible wondered Kathy. If it was true though, she'd be the envy of everyone. Still holding her groceries, Kathy walked towards the car and traced a finger along the curves. "What are you doing out here at the grocery store instead of your dealership?"

    "Here, let me take that," said the salesman as he took the bag of groceries from Kathy's arms and set them in the trunk of the car. "We're having a teensy tiny problem or are with noise pollution." Kathy raised her eyebrows. "Nothing to worry about," continued the salesman. "Slide into the drivers seat and feel her smooth environmentally enlightened power."

    The drivers seat was snug, not that different from the Prius. Embossed on the steering wheel were the letters SMC. Once the salesman had closed the passenger's door, Kathy asked, "What brand is SMC?"

    "Sidhe Motor Company. It's a new company with a patent for powering cars with the screams from banshees."


    "Don't worry, you won't hear a thing." He tossed her the keys. "Go ahead, take her for a spin."