The door to her dressing room is slightly ajar. There, in all her lanky blonde glory, sits Taylor Swift, locked in a passionate embrace with Kayne West. Are you kidding me?
I sigh. I guess the VMA incident was a hoax after all.
I click several photos with my digital camera, and realize that I am about to become a multi-millionaire. US Weekly? People magazine? Who will pay me the most for these juicy snapshots?
I am whipped around. Beyonce Knowles is a vixen in red lingerie. She grabs the camera from my sweaty palm and tosses it to the ground. She stomps on it will a silver stilletto.
Taylor and Kayne are distratced by the crunching sound. They look up, smiling at Beyonce.
"We thought you'd never get here!" Taylor coos these words with twangy affection.
Beyonce smiles down at me and lifts a finger to her lips.
"Shh," she winks at me and enters the dressing room, gently closing the door behind her.
When Ronnie got us backstage passes, I thought it was going to be the best night ever! I sure as hell didn't expect THIS!
“Hey, does your pass have the word STAR at the top?” I was scrutinizing the black lanyard it was attached to, wondering if I could get away with wearing it as a piece of jewelry.
“OMG, I bet that means we get to hang out with them!” Carrie was squealing.
My heart pounded even faster at the thought of sitting next to the Jonas boys. Me and Nick. Me and Joe. Ummmm.
“Didn’t I say my brother would come through for us?” I was seriously re-thinking that twerp. He wasn’t so bad now that he’d moved out of the house.
“I take back everything I’ve ever said about Ronnie being a jerk.” Carrie dipped into a curtsy.
Just then a beefy bald tank rounded the corner, stared at our chests (the passes, the passes!) and jerked his head in a “Follow Me” motion.
Carrie and I glued ourselves to his heels, running to keep up as he twisted and turned through equipment and people. I was out of breath when we came to a sudden stop in front of a door with a huge star on it. Carrie and I looked at each other. I felt light-headed. God, I hope I don’t pass out!
“Okay girls. Here’s the list. Don’t make fools out of yourselves. One thing. You two screw up and Ronnie is history.” Baldie barked at us and shoved a piece of paper my way.
I held up my hand. “Question, sir.”
“Speak,” tank was cracking his humongous knuckles.
“I don’t understand.We have the word ‘STAR’ on our passes.” I stood up as straight as I could.
“And?” tank cocked an eyebrow. Then a lightbulb went on and he let out snicker. “That word ‘STAR’ is an acronym.”
Did he just say acronym? Did he even know what it means? I shook my head and waited for the rest of the explanation.
“It stands for Support Talent’s Asinine Requests.” A huge smile spread across his face.
Carrie and I looked down at the list. Wow, I didn’t know anyone did that with Twinkies.
The door to her dressing room is slightly ajar. There, in all her lanky blonde glory, sits Taylor Swift, locked in a passionate embrace with Kayne West. Are you kidding me?
ReplyDeleteI sigh. I guess the VMA incident was a hoax after all.
I click several photos with my digital camera, and realize that I am about to become a multi-millionaire. US Weekly? People magazine? Who will pay me the most for these juicy snapshots?
I am whipped around. Beyonce Knowles is a vixen in red lingerie. She grabs the camera from my sweaty palm and tosses it to the ground. She stomps on it will a silver stilletto.
Taylor and Kayne are distratced by the crunching sound. They look up, smiling at Beyonce.
"We thought you'd never get here!" Taylor coos these words with twangy affection.
Beyonce smiles down at me and lifts a finger to her lips.
"Shh," she winks at me and enters the dressing room, gently closing the door behind her.
Amber!! Way to knock it out of the park!! Standing ovation to you!
ReplyDeleteWhen Ronnie got us backstage passes, I thought it was going to be the best night ever! I sure as hell didn't expect THIS!
ReplyDelete“Hey, does your pass have the word STAR at the top?” I was scrutinizing the black lanyard it was attached to, wondering if I could get away with wearing it as a piece of jewelry.
“OMG, I bet that means we get to hang out with them!” Carrie was squealing.
My heart pounded even faster at the thought of sitting next to the Jonas boys. Me and Nick. Me and Joe. Ummmm.
“Didn’t I say my brother would come through for us?” I was seriously re-thinking that twerp. He wasn’t so bad now that he’d moved out of the house.
“I take back everything I’ve ever said about Ronnie being a jerk.” Carrie dipped into a curtsy.
Just then a beefy bald tank rounded the corner, stared at our chests (the passes, the passes!) and jerked his head in a “Follow Me” motion.
Carrie and I glued ourselves to his heels, running to keep up as he twisted and turned through equipment and people. I was out of breath when we came to a sudden stop in front of a door with a huge star on it. Carrie and I looked at each other. I felt light-headed. God, I hope I don’t pass out!
“Okay girls. Here’s the list. Don’t make fools out of yourselves. One thing. You two screw up and Ronnie is history.” Baldie barked at us and shoved a piece of paper my way.
I held up my hand. “Question, sir.”
“Speak,” tank was cracking his humongous knuckles.
“I don’t understand.We have the word ‘STAR’ on our passes.” I stood up as straight as I could.
“And?” tank cocked an eyebrow. Then a lightbulb went on and he let out snicker. “That word ‘STAR’ is an acronym.”
Did he just say acronym? Did he even know what it means? I shook my head and waited for the rest of the explanation.
“It stands for Support Talent’s Asinine Requests.” A huge smile spread across his face.
Carrie and I looked down at the list. Wow, I didn’t know anyone did that with Twinkies.
hahahaha! Deb! You are a gem. I believe you just uber-trumped my response. Well played, well played!
ReplyDeleteawww *blush* thanks but yours motivated me!!!
ReplyDelete