Tuesday, October 12, 2010

No Way Tuesday


  1. And then she came back to life. She wiggled in her way too small bed.

    “Seriously?” She thought to herself looking down, “This is what they buried me in!” It was insulting! Pink? Everyone knew she hated pink. It must have been her mom. Her mom was the only person who would have had the guts to put her in pink, even if she was dead.

    Then she was hungry. Really hungry. She looked around. White satin. Blech!

    “Well, better get this zombie apocalypse started, Those brains aren’t going to eat themselves.” She told herself. Well actually what she said was, “ARRG Brains!” That stopped her for a moment. Her mouth obviously didn’t work so well anymore. She tried the sentence again slower, “Those brains aren’t going to eat themselves?” It came out as a question. A one word question, “Brains?”

    She sighed inwardly. No wonder all those Zombies in the movies sounded like idiots. How was she going to strike fear into the hearts of the living in a pink dress and a one word vocabulary?

    She shook herself. She’d worry about that stuff later. Food first. “Brains.” She told herself firmly.

    She hit the ceiling with an awkward 4 inch punch. The wood splintered. She hit it again. It crumbled. She pulled the wood out of the way and the dirt started to pour in on her. She was momentarily happy as the ugly pink dress got dirty.

    It was slow climbing up through the dirt and rocks. Luckily her limbs didn’t get tired, they moved slowly and woodenly but eventually she would reach the surface. Hunger sped her up and slowed her down in turn. Suddenly she reached tile.

    Tile?!? Oh no you didn’t build a building over top of me! “Argh!”

    Oh whoever was on the other side of this tile was so getting her full wrath. She punched again. The tile cracked easily and as she pulled herself through the floor she could hear the screams of the living.

    It was glorious, like the roar of a crowd. She cheered in triumph “Raaaawr.”

    “And now…Supper time!” She thought happily. “Brains!” Is what she replied.

  2. Jaimie Dawn, this is hilarious! I love it!!

  3. Jaimie Dawn, I like the one-word obsession. Reminded me of Martin Silenus from Hyperion. Very funny.