Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday Funkday

Your converstion with a dead famous person...


  1. Hey. Dude, wake up.

    . . .

    C'mon dude, I just need you to take a picture with me. No one will believe I went out on the town and drank you under the table if there's no picture.

    . . .

    Dude, why are your lips bright blue?

    . . .

    Oh no. I can, I'll try, there's no pulse. Well, if I don't tell, people will just think you're passed out drunk. *Click*

  2. OMG!!!

    You ARE so funny! Bwahahahahahaha!

  3. Not sure how I'll follow that, either.

  4. So I’m sitting across an elegant phantom dining table piled high with foods like Oysters Rockefeller and pheasant under glass. Translucent goblets of wine and flutes of champagne glitter under the enormous crystal chandelier, whose ghostly candles illuminate the room. My host pats his large stomach and sighs with pleasure.

    “I am so glad you could join me this evening,” says Diamond Jim Brady.

    For this giant of a man, it is still 1903 and the place is what was formerly known as the South Branch Hotel. It is now (for him) the gracious second empire residence of Edna Maculey, his mistress (or rather, one of his several mistresses.) Brady’s Farm, as most folks call it, is the most popular place in the region for New York’s Broadway stars and other famous glitterati to hang out, in (of course) the era’s most glamorous style.

    For me, living more than 100 years later, it is just the strange Victorian house out on River Road whose fish-scale roof is painted bright lavender. The current owners are, to say the least, a bit eccentric in their color taste – and in all likelihood, Mr. Brady – while quite flamboyant – would never approve of this exterior décor. Then again, I could be wrong.

    Nevertheless, I smile back at my long dead host and thank him for his hospitality.

    “You know, Mr. Brady,” says I, “your sense of panache and flair go on long after you. And I mean that in the most complimentary sense.”

    “And I shall accept it as such,” answers Mr. Brady. “But,” he continues, “have you any idea why this is so?”

    I shake my head and look to him, knowing full well that he will deliver a brilliant reply.

    He does not disappoint. He says, “My dear, simply put, ‘Diamonds are Forever.’”

    I smile as he chuckles as his joke. Then he winks and adds, “I’ve always wanted to say that.”

  5. B.- HILARIOUS!!! ;)
    RJ - what a great punch line. hahahaha