Monday, December 7, 2009

Monday Misdirection

"I think someone must have tampered with my GPS."


  1. “I think someone must have tampered with my GPS.”

    “Yeah – I did.”

    I looked up from the construction-truck yellow unit in my hands, and stared at my partner across the moss- and weed-filled clearing. His features were indistinct through my mosquito netting and the black haze of biting bugs in the air. I could still tell he was smirking.

    “AJ, what did you do?”

    “Tampered with your GPS.”

    I had already reset the device twice. In frustration, I chucked it into the moss pad at my feet. I then lowered my heavy backpack to the ground and walked closer to the other man. I was already slightly winded from our hike so far. My rage made my chest even tighter.

    “At the risk of our lives?”

    “Bill will find us.”

    I back-handed AJ with my left fist and followed with a right hammer-hand to his parietal. He went down to his knees. I took advantage of his stunned helplessness. In one deft maneuver, I unhooked my trowel from my belt and cracked him on the top of the head with the butt of the handle.

    AJ collapsed and I knelt beside him.

    “You don’t f*ck with your partner’s life out here.”

    With furious power I slashed his throat wide open with the sharpened edge of my trowel.

    “I don’t care if you want to protest the railroad, but you don’t divert your partner 6 K’s off course in the middle of Alaskan wilderness.”

    I plunged the pointed tip of the trowel into his chest.

    “I hope your heart’s still beating when the bears eat you.”

    My heart pounding, I gathered up my stuff, and started to backtrack our path. Once I was a couple kilometers from the body, I radioed Bill, our helicopter pilot. The reception wasn’t good out here, but eventually I made contact.

    “Bill, we got way off course and separated. I think I can hear you south of me. Can you fly north and I’ll tell you when you get close and we can try to hone in. I’ve got a mirror.”

    “What happened? I thought you guys had a GPS?”

    I pulled out my mirror and started trying to flash it, but there was a lot of cover, and I didn’t think my chances of signaling through the canopy were very good. I heard the helicopter definitely turn towards me. Sound carried well in the wilderness.

    “AJ tampered with my GPS.”

    “Out here? Mind if I don’t go searching for him?”

    I grunted with satisfaction. Even Bill knew the rules.

  2. "I think someone must have tampered with my GPS." I said as I tried to explain the daily drive past her house.

    She smiled slyly. "Not was me. I "tampered" with your GPS."

    "I don't understand" I puzzled.

    "You know how you always say that all roads lead to me?" she said embarrassingly.

    "Uh-huh" I mumbled.

    "Well, I reprogrammed your GPS to eliminate any doubt." she confessed.

    I turned the unit off. I didn't need any further direction for what was to happen next.

  3. Nevets, I guess you're making up for the lack of gore yesterday! LOL I love it.

    Walt, ever the Romantic. So sweet.

  4. Yes Deb, I'm still terribly flawed! :( LOL

  5. "Hey, watch out." Shelly pointed.

    I slammed on my brakes to avoid hitting the family who tried to cross the street in front of us. It was the third time this morning I almost hit someone, or something.

    "Do you know where the heck you're going?" Shelly reprimanded from the passenger seat.

    “I think someone must have tampered with my GPS.” I tried to joke.

    Shelly looked at me, still annoyed. "Yeah, apparently you keep driving your head up your ass."