As you are reading this missive, please, please - do not be dismissive. Thanks for rescuing me from the terrible sea. As your genie, you’ll find me submissive.
As blue-ish purple smoke began to build and rise up towards the neck of the bottle, he quickly stuffed the paper back into the bottle and recorked it. The smoke then dissipated, and as it did, a pair of tiny eyes peered around the piece of paper.
“I’m sorry, Anastasia,” he said, “But as I told you – just like I did the last three times – I’m simply not into that sort of thing.”
With that, he tossed the bottle back into the waves and continued his walk along the beach.
I hated that I had to be here – in the garage cleaning it out – on a Saturday. The sun was perfect. I should be at the beach working on my tan.
I pulled down a box. It clinked inside like glasses hitting each other. I opened the top to find several bottles. One had a tiny paper lodged in the neck.
It took some doing, but I got it out and unrolled it.
"You want a beer?" Tim handed over a bottle. The question was merely a gesture.
"Thanks," Gary grabbed the cold, sweaty bottle then wiped his hand on his jeans.
Both drank in silence, looking out onto the darkening street from their perch on the wide front porch.
"So what's up with the hot new chick across the street?" Gary nodded toward the brownstone directly across from them.
"Samantha? What a freak!" Tim snorted.
"Whaddya mean?" Gary took a long pull on his brew.
"What I mean is just stay the hell away from her!" Tim's eyes were wide and his voice was shaking.
"Dude, what the hell..." Gary was staring at his friend like he'd grown another head.
"All I can tell you man is that I invited her over for a drink one day last week and my life has been a living hell ever since." Tim buried his head in his hands.
Gary burst into laughter. "Okay, I get it. You saw her first. Hands off." Gary held up his hands in defeat.
"No, no it's not like that," insisted Tim. "The next day she brought over dinner and started talking about our "future" and stuff." Tim shook his head.
Gary raised his eyebrows in amazement. "What did you do?"
"I told her, in a nice way, that we had just met and she needed to back off." Tim shrugged.
"Sounds reasonable," Gary said, swatting away a mosquito, "So what's the problem?"
Tim sat in silence as Gary finished off his beer and held the bottle up to the porch light for further inspection. Gary squinted in disbelief as he squirmed his fingers into the neck of the bottle and pulled out a piece of paper.
He unrolled the paper and read outloud, " You are mine forever."
"Jesus!" Gary threw the paper on the porch. "Tim, what the f...?" Gary was the one shaking now.
He took the paper out and unrolled it.
ReplyDeleteAs you are reading this missive,
please, please - do not be dismissive.
Thanks for rescuing me
from the terrible sea.
As your genie, you’ll find me submissive.
As blue-ish purple smoke began to build and rise up towards the neck of the bottle, he quickly stuffed the paper back into the bottle and recorked it. The smoke then dissipated, and as it did, a pair of tiny eyes peered around the piece of paper.
“I’m sorry, Anastasia,” he said, “But as I told you – just like I did the last three times – I’m simply not into that sort of thing.”
With that, he tossed the bottle back into the waves and continued his walk along the beach.
I hated that I had to be here – in the garage cleaning it out – on a Saturday. The sun was perfect. I should be at the beach working on my tan.
ReplyDeleteI pulled down a box. It clinked inside like glasses hitting each other. I opened the top to find several bottles. One had a tiny paper lodged in the neck.
It took some doing, but I got it out and unrolled it.
There was a list…
whole kernel corn, untreated
yeast
sugar
corn syrup
honey
“Mom, what is this?”
“What?” She said, looking over. The dust in the garage had made a halo around her head.
I held up the bottle with one hand and the paper with the other.
“Uncle Ed’s moonshine recipe.” She turned back to the box she was emptying.
“Why is it in the bottle?”
“Where else would we keep it?”
Was she kidding me? “In a recipe book or something?”
“You have to think like a drunk, sweetheart. Inside the bottle is the first place Uncle Ed would look for it.”
My family was messed up.
Lightverse - He didn't want a genie?! I want a genie!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe genie part would have worked for him probably, but the truth is, he wanted a dominatrix - not a submissive!
ReplyDelete=D
I LOVED the messed up family! lol!
And yes! A genie would be real nice to have around here sometimes!
ReplyDeleteRJ, is there something you're not telling us???LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteHeather...ROLF!! Funny!
Okay, you know what I meant...ROFL. yeesh
ReplyDelete"You want a beer?" Tim handed over a bottle. The question was merely a gesture.
ReplyDelete"Thanks," Gary grabbed the cold, sweaty bottle then wiped his hand on his jeans.
Both drank in silence, looking out onto the darkening street from their perch on the wide front porch.
"So what's up with the hot new chick across the street?" Gary nodded toward the brownstone directly across from them.
"Samantha? What a freak!" Tim snorted.
"Whaddya mean?" Gary took a long pull on his brew.
"What I mean is just stay the hell away from her!" Tim's eyes were wide and his voice was shaking.
"Dude, what the hell..." Gary was staring at his friend like he'd grown another head.
"All I can tell you man is that I invited her over for a drink one day last week and my life has been a living hell ever since." Tim buried his head in his hands.
Gary burst into laughter. "Okay, I get it. You saw her first. Hands off." Gary held up his hands in defeat.
"No, no it's not like that," insisted Tim. "The next day she brought over dinner and started talking about our "future" and stuff." Tim shook his head.
Gary raised his eyebrows in amazement. "What did you do?"
"I told her, in a nice way, that we had just met and she needed to back off." Tim shrugged.
"Sounds reasonable," Gary said, swatting away a mosquito, "So what's the problem?"
Tim sat in silence as Gary finished off his beer and held the bottle up to the porch light for further inspection. Gary squinted in disbelief as he squirmed his fingers into the neck of the bottle and pulled out a piece of paper.
He unrolled the paper and read outloud, " You are mine forever."
"Jesus!" Gary threw the paper on the porch. "Tim, what the f...?" Gary was the one shaking now.
Tim just winced and looked across the street.
OMG, Deb! STALKER!!!!!!!!!!! That is SO AWESOME!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd Lightverse -- who doesn't want a Dom?
Wow Deb! Scarrrrrrr-y! (And what a super story, too!)
ReplyDelete