Hi all. Here's a first (public) attempt. “You know, they invented a word for guys like him.”“Yeah, a few words,” Carmy said. 'Hot,' 'chiseled,' even 'dreamy' came to mind. It showed how good a guy looked if she was using kitchy words like dreamy. She exhaled long and slow before biting the rubber mouthpiece of her snorkel.“And I don’t like the way he’s looking at you.”This was enough to bring her focus back to Justin. She yanked out the snorkel. “Since when do you care the way a guy looks at me? All you and Ricky care about is football practice and playing Madden.”“Since… never. It isn’t you, I just hate when guys look at girls like that. In general.” Justin glanced at her as he swished spit and ocean water around in his snorkel mask. Was there something wrong with the plastic lens of her mask? A wave lapped up, gentle as it poured over her legs, and for a second she thought she read something in his dark, spike-lashed gaze. “Hello,” a voice said.Carmy blinked up. Mr. Dreamy was standing right beside her, casting a shadow over Justin. “Hey,” she said. Rock-hard body alert! Water droplets clung to the guy, each one an invitation to keep staring.“I am Miguel,” he said, offering his hand.Carmy took it and stood. “I’m Carmy,” she said. Stop staring, she told herself. And lifting her mask might be good. She smiled big. “It’s Carmen, actually.”Justin stood up, too. “Come on, Carmy,” he said. “Your parents are waving us over.”“No they aren’t--”“Who is this?” Miguel asked.Carmy unclenched her teeth. “My parents let me and my brother each bring a friend for vacay.” She glared at Justin and added, “This is just Justin. And he was just leaving.”“I’m not going anywhere.”“What’s that supposed to--”But he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up so close she lost her breath. His lips were close enough to hers that she felt his breath as he asked, “What do you think it means?”
“You know,” I said slowly, looking across the room through half-closed eyes, focusing on one man amidst the cocktail party, “they invented a word for guys like him.”“Yeah,” you said, snorting dismissively. “Dad. Pop. Father. All kinds of words.”My gaze slid slowly to your pretty face. I took careful measure of your mood and state of mind. “None of those is the word I had in mind,” I said softly, looking back at your father.“Father-in-Law?” you guessed, trying by force to lighten the tone of the conversation.“Bastard,” I offered. “Demon. Devil. Evil motherf-““Stop it!” Your volume was low, but you were not exactly whispering. I felt scolded. “You know it’s the truth.”“He’s a good father and a good provider.”“He’s the heart of darkness walking amongst us.”“Sometimes you can be a real prick,” you snarled. “He’s an honest, hard-working man.”Then we got to see him working hard with his own unique sense of honesty, or at least integrity. Quickly, effortlessly, your father broke away from the conversation he was having with your mom and strode over to another guest – a friend of a friend of his wife’s business colleague. Left hand over the guest’s mouth, a twist of the neck. Right hand thrusting upward to insert a wafer-thin stiletto into the guest’s spinal cord.As the guest crumpled to the floor, the party slowly broke up and your mother’s business colleague handed your father an envelope stuffed with cash.I looked back at you. You were smiling. You said, “He always pays the bills. Not every dad does that.”
Nice story, Diana!
Awesome, Diana. It's nice to see that the hot Latino guys don't always get the girl. ;) Go, Justin! Nevets, dark--I liked it. I liked the POV you chose too.
Thanks Nevets, I liked yours too. Especially the POV and that description towards the end... wafer thin stiletto into the guest's spinal cord. Ouch!Thanks Wendy. Miguel is going to have to look elsewhere :)
Diana - mmmm, me likey. I am plan on ordering me a t-shirt "Rock-hard body alert!" Rrrrrt! Rrrrrt!(that's my alert sound) I cracked up over that one. Oh wait, if I order a t-shirt I will have to put a photo of a hot guy on it so people won't think I mean me.Nevets - You are evil. Come, "Join us." I love the last line the best, she has a really good point.
My grandma was chopping carrots as she said, "You know, they invented a word for guys like him." She pointed at me with her knife and added, "And for girls like her too.""What would that be?" I asked, ignoring the shocked look from some of my cousins. They saw my grandmother rarely and didn't realize how deeply senility had set in."Hussy. She wore black nylons to church when she was there for her grandfather's funeral. Then, she married him, and he's no better." Down came the knife--cut, cut, cut. "No, he isn't," I agreed."He's a gold digger. He's after my money, but I'm going to trick them. I'm going to live forever." "You do that, Grams," I said, pulling out silverware. "Oh, dear, not that silverware, Sweetie," she said gesturing at what I had. "Put out the stuff with the little flowers on them. I like those better." She called all of us "Sweetie." It was easier that way. "You don't have any silverware with flowers on it," I said, looking in the drawer. All eyes swung to me."No?" she asked, confused.No, my gold-digger of a husband had stolen them last year before I'd divorced his sorry butt. That was a year after I'd worn black nylons to my grandfather's funeral. That marriage was a year too long in my opinion. It was strange the things Grams remembered and the things she forgot."Whatever is fine, then, Sweetie," she said, going back to cutting. Cut, cut, cut. "You know that Tessa is no better. Why do you remember that one time when she got drunk at the wedding and went home with one of the waiters?" I smiled at my cousin, Tessa, whose mouth had dropped open in a large "O." Hopefully, there was a word invented for her too. I saw the moment it dawned on her that she couldn't respond. Yes, sirree, I was thankful for an interesting family at times like this. I half-way wondered if my Grams was faking this just so she could say all of this to our faces and see our reactions. I was going to be just like her when I got old. "Then, there was that one Thanksgiving when your Uncle Joe told us that he was dreaming of cross-dressing. No, wait. Maybe he just told me...."
“Dickcheese!”“Douchenozzle!”“Chuz-guzzler!”Jeremy rounded on the three bigger boys, causing them to take a step back at the unexpected aggression. “What does that even mean?” he asked.The older boys glanced at each other. “Uh…” said one.Jeremy snorted and turned on his heel, glasses flashing.“Whatever. You are one, anyway!”“At least I don’t spend my days thinking about ways to refer to other people’s penises,” Jeremy threw over his shoulder.
Gwoe- The tshirt idea is fabulous! I want one!!Wendy- I like this grandma. She's a cool cat. I wouldn't want her to be MY grandma, though...Scattercat- a trip to a junior high locker room, thanks
Hi everyone, I just wanted to say I'm really glad I posted, an I think it's insane and awesome how many different kinds of stories can come out of one line. Just today there's been everything from suspense thriller to boyish coming of age, it's pretty amazing :)
Diana, that was hot! *fans herself with both hands*Ahhhh, Nevets. No one does gruesome and grizzly quite like you. Well done!Scattercat, once again...I'd love to live in your head for a day! An hour??Wendy, great story!
“Here he comes!” Susie elbowed Grace, almost knocking her off the brick wall.“Geez, calm down,” Grace fumbled to regain her balance and her stack of books. Securely fixed atop the wall, Grace looked up. “Oh. My. God.”“Close your mouth. You look like a fish.” Janie snorted as she landed next to Susie.Silence prevailed as the three girls locked eyes on the vision loping up the sidewalk toward them.“Edward, who?” murmured Susie as she took in the low-slung jeans and tight black t-shirt that revealed some serious pecs.“What do you think he is?” whispered Grace. “Nothing that gorgeous could be human.”“You know, they invented a word for guys like him.” Janie sighed as they watched him rake long fingers through shoulder length silk.“Yea, what’s that?” rasped Susie.“Mine.” Said Janie.
Scattercat, once again...I'd love to live in your head for a day! An hour??It's pretty crowded in here. And a little noisy. Not really a high-rent area. I figured this one would get some "dark romance" vibes going, so I consciously aimed for something lighter and less overtly weird than normal. I'm wondering how long the Thanksgiving vibe will hold out...
"C'mon," she whined, "I'm not asking for much! I don't take up much space and I'll be really quiet."
Don't listen to Deb. She can't be quiet. Lies--all lies. Now--I can be quiet. Unfortunately, the voices in my head won't let me move out. They're mean little squatters.
Whoa! Wendy, that was harsh! Psst. Come here, got something to tell you. What? Oh, I'm not gonna hurt you. Oh look, FROSTING!
Great works all! Slowly working my way back to the "flash", been a hectic month. Too many non-literary problem to work aroun my writing time. But I'm hoping to get busy (busier) that I've been. Again loving the submissions lately.
I know, I know. I am speechless, but they have words for guys like him. Alexander came to be "undead" "Ghouly" and..."thoughtful. I just hope he doesn't think the same of me, I mean the "ghostly" parts.He is somewhat dead, but not in my perspective, He is amazingly alive for a ghost... Sorry Alex, didn't mean to use that mouth, if you are reading this. But he is the ying to the yang and all that lovey stuff. He is great. Just great.