I could still remember the snap of the match. The sizzle. And then woosh.
“An accident?”
“Ding ding ding. Good job. You actually effin’ listened.”
Careless maybe. They’d told me not to play with matches. Couldn’t help myself though. It was such a rush. Little stick of blue-tipped wood. Snap. A spark. Sizzle. A flame. Woosh. Combustion.
It had to be what God felt like when he created the universe.
“How could it be an accident?”
“If I did it accidentally, dumbass.”
My parents were pissed. That was okay. They were always pissed anyway.
“No emotions at all?”
“Not really.”
There was a mirror in the room. I remember looking up. Seeing the firelight glittering in my eyes. Seeing the shadows dance on my face. Seeing the warmth that I – I – me – fourteen year-old Jason – that’s right, mother-effers, me – the warmth that I had created out of nothing.
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Suck it.”
I could create a bonfire out of nothing. I could tell anyone I wanted to suck it. One was the same as the other.
“You didn’t hate –“
“Sure I did, what kid wouldn’t?”
Accident or not, it was amazing to see it burn. I could make flames out of nothing. I could also turn something into nothing. Sweet.
“But why?”
“I’m fourteen, Dr. Prick. I didn’t ask for no frickin’ baby brother.”
“It was an accident, Dr. Prick.”
ReplyDeleteI could still remember the snap of the match. The sizzle. And then woosh.
“An accident?”
“Ding ding ding. Good job. You actually effin’ listened.”
Careless maybe. They’d told me not to play with matches. Couldn’t help myself though. It was such a rush. Little stick of blue-tipped wood. Snap. A spark. Sizzle. A flame. Woosh. Combustion.
It had to be what God felt like when he created the universe.
“How could it be an accident?”
“If I did it accidentally, dumbass.”
My parents were pissed. That was okay. They were always pissed anyway.
“No emotions at all?”
“Not really.”
There was a mirror in the room. I remember looking up. Seeing the firelight glittering in my eyes. Seeing the shadows dance on my face. Seeing the warmth that I – I – me – fourteen year-old Jason – that’s right, mother-effers, me – the warmth that I had created out of nothing.
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Suck it.”
I could create a bonfire out of nothing. I could tell anyone I wanted to suck it. One was the same as the other.
“You didn’t hate –“
“Sure I did, what kid wouldn’t?”
Accident or not, it was amazing to see it burn. I could make flames out of nothing. I could also turn something into nothing. Sweet.
“But why?”
“I’m fourteen, Dr. Prick. I didn’t ask for no frickin’ baby brother.”