Sunday, April 12, 2009

Sassy Sunday

I think - therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead


  1. “I can’t believe it! So...tell me what happened.” Lana took a sip of her Chardonnay, her eyes wide.

    On the barstool next to Lana, Wendy stared straight ahead.

    “C’mon, Wen, Was it really bad? I’m your best friend – you can tell me what happened.”

    Wendy turned to face Lana. “All right.” Wendy sighed. “I left the office at lunch yesterday to run a few errands. I finished sooner than I expected – and, since I was in the neighborhood, I figured I drop by JT’s office to say hi. I thought perhaps if he were free, we could grab a quick bite or something. His office door was open a crack when I got there, and he was – how shall I say this? In flagrante delicto.”

    “Wendy! No!” Lana nearly dropped her wine glass. Placing it carefully on the bar’s mahogany counter, she continued, “You’re kidding me, right? You two have been together since law school. Who was she?”

    “Janie. She’s a secretary with his firm. She’s well-endowed, but not in the brains department, if you catch my drift.” Wendy signaled the bartender to come over to them.

    “But, I thought JT liked intelligent women. I thought that was one of the reasons he was so into you, Wen,” said Lana.

    “I thought so too,” said Wendy. She turned to the bartender. “Another Shiraz, please.” The bartender nodded and poured her another glassful. “Thanks.”

    “So what did you do?” Lana asked.

    “Last night, after work, he picked me up for a late dinner. We were riding in his BMW - the M3 convertible. It’s his baby, you know.”

    Lana nodded.

    “Well, we were sitting traffic on the bridge and I told him what I knew. At first, he denied it and said that Janie was just in his office for some dictation. I told him I knew exactly what kind of dictation she was taking. I told him I wasn’t stupid, and to please not lie to me.”

    “And then?”

    “He finally admitted it. The jerk said that he liked her because it was so easy with her. He didn’t have to work so hard. I was too smart and he felt like it was a constant struggle.”

    “Was that because you’d just won the Haggerty case?” Lana took another sip of her wine.

    “Maybe, but I think this was going on long before the case was over.”

    “So what happened next?”

    “I was astonished and told him so. But I didn’t throw a temper tantrum or cry and scream or anything, so he told me I was taking it well, and he said he really admired that trait about me. That I always thought things through before acting on impulse.”


    “And that’s when an impulse took over. A side of me I suppose he never saw before, but who knows. I turned the ignition off, pulled the keys out and tossed them over the bridge into the river below.”

    Lana nearly fell off her barstool. “Oh my god – you didn’t!”

    “I did. He was speechless. Then I told him he was taking it really well and it was a trait I admired about him. And then I got out of the car and walked the rest of the way home. In heels, no less.”

    “What did he do after that?” asked Lana, incredulous.

    Wendy played with the rim of her wineglass. “I don’t know. I didn’t look back. So...I guess I’m single now.”

    “Well, that’s just fine,” said Lana, “because he got what he deserved. And besides, you have your good looks, your wicked sense of humor - and you know what else? You are probably the smartest – not to mention, gutsiest - woman I know!”

  2. Lightverse, amazing as always! You weave a wicked good story!

  3. Okay, I'm name has expanded to go with my new blog but I'm still Deb M!

    "Oh..My..God!" whispered Katie, her green eyes wide with disbelief.

    Sitting across the table, Andrea and Jocelyn swiveled in unison to see what horror was approaching.

    Strolling across the cafeteria, head held high, was Taylor Adams.

    No one said a word as Taylor slid into the vacant chair next to Katie, daintily depositing her books on the table.

    "Well?" Taylor cocked her head, waiting for a reaction from her best friends.

    "What do you think?" she beamed. "Blonde suits me, doesn't it?"

    Katie was the first to speak. "Taylor, don't take this the wrong way but why the heck did you bleach your gorgeous chestnut hair?"

    Andrea and Jocelyn quickly came to Taylor's defense.

    "I think it's hot," stated Andrea with a bit too much enthusiasm.

    "Absolutely," agreed Jocelyn.

    Taylor's smile was smug as she looked directly at Katie. "Carson loves my new look. He actually suggested it-thought I'd be stunning as a blonde."

    Katie narrowed her eyes. "I thought Carson was the perfect boyfriend," she said.

    "He is!" Taylor sounded offended. "He just wants me to be the best I can be."

    "Yea," Jocelyn chimed in. "Katie, if you weren't so picky you'd have a boyfriend."

    "I'm not picky, girls," Katie stated, "I'm just not willing to compromise who I am for a boy."

    "What does that mean?" Andrea demanded.

    Katie shook her head and took a deep breath. Why were these girls her friends??

    "It means..." Katie began, "that I don't want some guy telling me that he likes me just the way I am BUT if I bleach my hair," she glared at Taylor, "or get a nose job," Katie's eye cut to Jocelyn, "or breast implants," she slammed the table in front of Andrea, "he certainly wouldn't mind!"

    The three subjects of Katie's wrath stood.

    "We didn't know you felt that way about us," sniffed Taylor.

    And with that, Taylor, Andrea, and Jocelyn exited the cafeteria.

    Katie picked up her worn copy of Sense and Sensibility.

    "Well Jane, you tried."