Friday, March 20, 2009

Friday Funkday

"I'll agree. But first, you have to give me your best pick-up line."


  1. Norah and her boyfriend Mark were walking down the tree-lined main street of campus.

    “So, you wanna fool around when we get back to the dorms?” Norah batted her eyelashes.

    Mark put his hand to his heart and said in a faux-Southern accent (with the obligatory falsetto), “Gracious! You wanton woman, you!”

    Norah snickered. Feeding off this, Mark continued. "I'll agree. But first, you have to give me your best pick-up line. Think you’re up to it?"

    In a deep sexy voice filled with innuendo, Norah said, “I’m always up to it, darlin’!” She hitched her knapsack strap up higher on her shoulder. “How about this: Baby, somebody better call God ‘cause he’s missing an angel!”

    Mark laughed. “Too trite. Try again.”

    “Bond. James Bond.”

    “You’re a woman – remember?”

    “Oh, all right.” Norah thought for a moment. “Ummm...hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.”


    “I have only three months to live...”

    “Hmmm...might work. The ol’ sympathy routine, eh?”

    “Ever work for you?”

    “Stick to the game.”

    “What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle. Hmmm. Or maybe...excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?”

    “Getting better, but still not convincing.”

    Norah used a cheesy Steve Martin pick-up voice, copied straight from Pennies from Heaven: “You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy!”

    Mark laughed loudly. “Okay, now you’re warming me up some!”

    “Would you like Gin and Platonic, or Scotch and Sofa?”

    “Oooh, clever!”

    “Really?” asked Norah. “’Cause I think so too!” She winked at Mark. “Well, here’s my final try. Either, let's go behind that rock, and get a little boulder. Or...we may not be Fred and Wilma Flintstone, but honey – I’ll still make your bed rock!”

    Mark said, “Oooh baby!”

    The two of them walked up the steps to the entrance of their dorm building.

    “So,” said Norah. She coyly flipped her hair back. “You ready to fool around now?”

    Mark gave her his best smoldering look. “With lines like those, baby, I think you’ve just talked me into it.”

    Norah giggled as they got into the elevator.

  2. “Um… What’s your sign?”


    “Are you new here, or…?”

    “God. Really, Angela? That’s the best you can come up with?”

    I glared. “It’s not like I pick up on guys, you know?”

    Sarah rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I do know. That’s kind of the point.”

    I attempted to remain calm. Why did she have to be such a bitch? “That’s the reason we’re going. I know I have to practice. You said you’d go, remember?”

    “Uh, yeah, that was like two seconds ago. Of course I remember.”

    No. I was not going to blow this. My lips stayed pressed together in a thin line.

    Sarah folded her arms and considered me. “It’s not really the lines that are the problem. It’s your…” she made a swishy circle in the air, indicating all of me, “look.”

    “What’s wrong with it?” I was wearing my best jeans and a button down flannel. It may not have been party-ish, but it was cute. “We’re just going to a bar.”

    Sarah put her hands to her ears. “Tell me I did not just hear you say that.”


    “I can see we need to get you help from the ground up. Next you’ll tell me that you didn’t shave your legs and you’re wearing underwear.”

    I wasn’t supposed to wear underwear? “You do realize I want you to go to a bar with me? To have a drink. And maybe talk to some guys.”

    “Yes, exactly.”

  3. I love your dialogue!!!!!!!!! haha. It's awesome!