Monday, March 16, 2009

Monday Muse

Chinese Fortune Cookie Fortune: You have the attitude of a winner.


  1. Luck was not smiling on Peter Greenwich that day.

    The previous night, he had a fight with his wife and she was still not speaking to him in the morning.

    When he arrived at work, he discovered that he’d neglected to ante up for the weekly lottery pool – and everyone else who remembered to contribute his or her five bucks was now $1,500 richer.

    At lunch, he got mustard on his tie.

    Right after lunch, Peter’s wife started speaking to him again: she called him to tell him their son had been suspended from school for fighting and that it was all Peter’s fault.

    Shortly after this less than pleasing news, Peter’s boss called him into the office and informed him that the company was experiencing a severe economic downturn. They would unfortunately be laying off a half dozen people in his division. Peter was one of the half dozen.

    Distraught, Peter left work for the day, with the intention of drowning his sorrows at the nearest pub. Halfway down the block, he told himself, “Peter - getting drunk will not solve anything. That’s what a loser would do.” Instead, he walked into the Wing Wok Chinese restaurant and ordered an egg roll and some tea.

    When the waitress brought his food, she left the check on his table, along with a plate full of orange slices and a fortune cookie.

    “I’m almost afraid to open this fortune cookie,” Peter said out loud. “But, no matter what this fortune might say, I don’t think things could possibly get any worse today.”

    Just then, Peter had a heart attack. Unconscious, his head fell forward and landed on the fortune cookie, crushing it. After the paramedics moved Peter into the ambulance, the waitress began clearing his table. As she did, she saw the little slip of paper sticking out of what had formerly been Peter’s fortune cookie. She picked it up and read it.

    You have the attitude of a winner.

    The waitress smiled. “Since that customer never actually possessed this fortune, it looks like it’s mine now.” She tucked the slip of paper into her apron pocket and took the tray of dirty dishes back to the kitchen.

  2. "You have the attitude of a winner."

    Was that a joke? I looked back toward the cut out leading into the resturant kitchen. No one seemed to notice me, so I narrowed my eyes, and ate the fortune, right along with the cookie.

    Winner, huh? Was that why I finished last in the girl's All County race today? Was that Peter DiGrazio made out with Heather Hansel when he was supposed to ask me to prom? Oh, I got it. I had the attitude of a winner when I punched him in the face and then kicked him in the gut while he was down. That had to be it.

    "Excuse me?"

    I looked up, still chewing paper, to the guy standing at the end of my table. The INSANELY hot guy at the end of my table.

    "Yes?" I said through a full mouth.

    He laughed, looking down at the table and then back at me. "I... I saw you run today. You were great."

    I growled.

    "Sorry," he said quickly. "I know you lost and all, but I thought you looked great." He smiled and I gulped down my fortune.

    "Really?" I asked, suddenly feeling a little less sour.

    "Yeah." He leaned closer. "And if you ask me, I think those other girls were on steroids. Totally shoud be tested."

    I laughed out. The cute stranger brushed at his messy blond hair and looked around the restaurant. "So," he said. "Do you need a ride, or did you want to eat a few more fortunes?"

    I blushed, realizing that my new friend saw me gobble paper.


    "Say yes."

    I grinned.

    "After all," he shrugged. "You supposed to have the attitude of a winner."

    I gasped. "How did you know that?" Oh my God, was he pyschic?

    Instead he pointed up to the sign behind me. I glanced back and read.

    "You have the attitude of a winner."

    The guy chuckled. "All the cookies say that. It's sort of their catch phrase."

    Great. I'd eaten it for nothing. Well, no point fighting it now that it was ingested. Instead, I stood up, brushed back my hair, and walked out with the hot stranger.

    Like a winner.

  3. Lightverse, we both used the name Peter. ahha. I totally didn't notice that. Nice post.

  4. Wow! That's so funny! Great minds and all that...

    Anyway, you gave was a great twist about all the cookies saying the same fortune! It was one of those 'I wish I'd thought of that!' moments!

  5. i love both of these. i have that actual fortune taped to a hollow ceramic skull (holds my pencils). makes me laugh every time i look at it.

  6. Neat prompt idea!

    I really like what you both did with it, too!